I meant to write an elaborate post about my dinner last night and how it was SO NOT a dinner but its after five pm and I need to go eat TONIGHT'S dinner soon.
Suffice to say - last night I had the following for dinner: 1.5 pieces of banana bread, 2 peaches, 1 piece of toast with almond butter and honey, 1 cup of whole milk.
By saying this I'm just trying to communicate that, crap, sometimes your meal plan goes to hell and it is so not your fault. Arggggg. Man, am I hungry. Happy weekend!
Friday, September 11, 2009
Thursday, September 10, 2009
Exercise Shmexercise
That is a technical term, thanks.
You see I write down what I eat, some of what that food is and that I'm a lover of exercise. You have now stopped reading. I know, its totally annoying. Everyone hates exercise.
Except, no, you don't.
Do you like walking in your neighborhood? Do you enjoy playing with your kid? Or even pointing and flexing your feet while on the phone at work? If you can say yes to any of these things you don't hate exercise.
There is nothing that makes me more crazy than crazy exercise people who claim you must burn thousands of calories per week to be fit. First of all everyone is different and everyone has different priorities. Yea, the American Heart Association wants you to exercise for 30 minutes per day 5 days per week but its your exercise, you define it. No one is telling you to spend half an hour on a treadmill Monday through Friday. You don't need to go to the gym for three hours a day, in fact you don't even need the gym. It can be as easy as getting off the couch and taking a walk. No, really. You might ultimately define exercise by your heart rate, but it is a waste of time to intimidate yourself by starting out with these concerns. Just stand up, strap on the sneaks and MOVE.
"But, but, but", you're thinking, "YOU go to the gym all the time, YOU work there part time". Well, yea but I'm me and you're you. AND I work out at home* all the time! One of the best pieces of equipment I own - wait for it - is a jump rope. Get yourself a quality jump rope. The one I have was ten dollars online. Its the Buddy Lee brand and it rocks. Anyone can stand in their den/living room/basement and jump rope for one minute, do 5 push ups, 10 squats and 15 sit ups for as many rounds as your able. Mix it up. Take the jump rope outside. Walk for 10 minutes then jump rope for a 100 turns. There are even systems out there that are designed to be scalable to everyone and some even allow you to workout without equipment.
Hate jump ropes? Remind you of the horrible pain of elementary school? Screw 'em - walk for 10 minutes then do the push up, squat, sit up routine. Google the word burpee (this is a workout, not a bodily function). There are tons of exercises you can do.
Now that you've googled burpee are you totally freaked out? Well lets take it down a notch. Do you like handstands? Those require effort. Try doing a handstand push-up if you want to. Or even do you have stairs in your office building? Or even at home?
The point is, not only is exercise easy to find, it can be free and you probably actually like it. You just might not define some things as exercise.
*As soon as I can successfully retrieve the digital camera from my fiance's clutches I'm going to take a picture of our wonderful home gym. Trust me, you'll want to see this. It includes an erg. Go ahead, google, I'll wait.
You see I write down what I eat, some of what that food is and that I'm a lover of exercise. You have now stopped reading. I know, its totally annoying. Everyone hates exercise.
Except, no, you don't.
Do you like walking in your neighborhood? Do you enjoy playing with your kid? Or even pointing and flexing your feet while on the phone at work? If you can say yes to any of these things you don't hate exercise.
There is nothing that makes me more crazy than crazy exercise people who claim you must burn thousands of calories per week to be fit. First of all everyone is different and everyone has different priorities. Yea, the American Heart Association wants you to exercise for 30 minutes per day 5 days per week but its your exercise, you define it. No one is telling you to spend half an hour on a treadmill Monday through Friday. You don't need to go to the gym for three hours a day, in fact you don't even need the gym. It can be as easy as getting off the couch and taking a walk. No, really. You might ultimately define exercise by your heart rate, but it is a waste of time to intimidate yourself by starting out with these concerns. Just stand up, strap on the sneaks and MOVE.
"But, but, but", you're thinking, "YOU go to the gym all the time, YOU work there part time". Well, yea but I'm me and you're you. AND I work out at home* all the time! One of the best pieces of equipment I own - wait for it - is a jump rope. Get yourself a quality jump rope. The one I have was ten dollars online. Its the Buddy Lee brand and it rocks. Anyone can stand in their den/living room/basement and jump rope for one minute, do 5 push ups, 10 squats and 15 sit ups for as many rounds as your able. Mix it up. Take the jump rope outside. Walk for 10 minutes then jump rope for a 100 turns. There are even systems out there that are designed to be scalable to everyone and some even allow you to workout without equipment.
Hate jump ropes? Remind you of the horrible pain of elementary school? Screw 'em - walk for 10 minutes then do the push up, squat, sit up routine. Google the word burpee (this is a workout, not a bodily function). There are tons of exercises you can do.
Now that you've googled burpee are you totally freaked out? Well lets take it down a notch. Do you like handstands? Those require effort. Try doing a handstand push-up if you want to. Or even do you have stairs in your office building? Or even at home?
The point is, not only is exercise easy to find, it can be free and you probably actually like it. You just might not define some things as exercise.
*As soon as I can successfully retrieve the digital camera from my fiance's clutches I'm going to take a picture of our wonderful home gym. Trust me, you'll want to see this. It includes an erg. Go ahead, google, I'll wait.
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Now For The Play By Play
So now that you understand a bit more about what I write in my journal the natural question is of course - what are you eating? Well, lets delve into my Tuesday night for a great example of this.
Last night I had a free evening with nothing planned so it was time to cook up all the food in the fridge. If you hate cooking this might sound like the worst thing ever, but it really wasn't hard and the results were totally worth it. No cooking again for probably a week and tasty food that is easy to find and costs me pennies in comparison to the packaged versions!
I made:
homemade tomato sauce
stuffed peppers
stewed okra
homemade whole wheat bread
spicy chicken and corn chowder
You might notice that a lot of the ingredients overlap. This is what makes this even easier. And what made it even easier-er (that is SO a word) is that I own a stick blender, a slow cooker and a bread maker! Now you're thinking - she spent the evening in the kitchen and she has invested in all these appliances. No way are you, my fair reader, doing this. Well, let me just say, that my fiance, a connoisseur of calories, believes that bread maker changed our lives. In fact, it is the only thing that has him eating bread at all - he hadn't eaten bread for 2 years prior. So you just go and belittle my appliances while I sit over here and eat tasty food (which doesn't contain a lot of crap, you can keep your methylcellulose and high fructose corn syrup, thanks).
First, a side note, I chopped up big red tasty farmer's market tomatoes in the morning and tossed them in the slow cooker with about 4 cups of water, 1/4 cup of olive oil, 1 tablespoon of basil and 2 tablespoons of parsley. If you do this, make sure you remove all the tomato seeds and clear goo around the seeds. Putting them in will make your sauce really bitter. Also, you can make the tomato pieces as big as you want so long as you can blend them later.
So last nights play by play:
5 pm Arrive home.
5:10 pm Consume bowl of watermelon while reading the newspaper.*
5:12 pm Turn off slow cooker. Attack tomatoes with stick blender. You could probably put the entire thing in your regular blender if you wanted but the stick blender gets out some pretty great aggression from the work day!
5:15 pm Discover that 4 cups of water was WAY too much. Put sauce in a wide pan with about 4 inch deep sides. BOIL THE CRAP OUT OF IT. If you ever deal with this excess water problem be sure to cover the pan when you boil it and keep it at high heat until it looks like actual sauce. If you don't cover it you'll have a nice terra cotta colored wall behind your stove!
5:20 pm Eat 4 crackers with almond butter on top while reading the paper.*
5:30 pm Complain to fiance about an apartment maintenance problem. Make him call the building people.*
5:45 pm Place chicken bones from last week's roasted, organic, CAFOs-free chickens into a giant stock pot. Cover with water.
6 pm Cut corn off the cob (doesn't need to be cooked, although it can). Chop okra. Cut peppers in half and get rid of the gross inedibles.
6:20 pm Pour the chicken bones through a strainer and into another pot. Sort through the bits, saving the meat and tossing the bones. Put corn in the pot. Put the pot in the fridge, top on.
7 pm Clean various dishes so the pile of bowls in the drying rack doesn't get taller than me.
7:30 pm Watch Jeopardy.*
8 pm Get my act together and go to Harris Teeter (turn off all your burners) for milk, eggs and paper towels - the essentials. Run into former roommate and her boyfriend looking like crap (Why does this always happen?!).*
8:10 pm Stand awkwardly, for what seems like a lifetime, waiting for someone in the store to find a gallon of organic whole milk. Yes, I drink organic and yes I drink whole. Also, yes, I'll tell you about that decision another time.*
8:30 pm Finally return from HT (What? Its next door to my apartment building and I believe trips there should never take more than 6 minutes.).* Place bread maker on counter. Put the following in it, in this order: 1.25 cups of water, 1.5 tablespoons of olive oil, 1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon of brown sugar, 1.5 cups of all purpose flour, 2 cups of whole wheat flour, 1 teaspoon of salt, one packet of dry yeast. Yep, that is it. Please, go find your loaf of bread in your house. I'll wait. I guarantee yours has at LEAST twice as many as ingredients, doesn't stay fresh as long and isn't as tasty.
8:32 pm Walk away from bread maker.
8:33 pm Stir together leftover brown rice and leftover ground beef and pork (yes, also organic and CAFOs-free) with some of my now less watery tomato sauce. Place green pepper halves in pan. Place spoonfuls of beef, rice and sauce mixture in them. Place the rest of the sauce on top. Leave to simmer for about 10 minutes with the top on.
8:40 pm Place some of the okra and some of the leftover sauce (I have no ratios for you on this one, I eyeballed it) in a small pot. Simmer for 15 minutes until the okra is soft but not mushy. Put it in a tupperware container to be mixed later with leftover ground meat and some pasta - is my thinking ahead making you nauseous yet?
9:00 pm Clean random things in the house. Collect fiances shoes strewn about. Shower. Try to find something on television and quickly give up.*
9:20 pm Plate two stuffed peppers. Grate fresh gruyere on top.
9:21 pm CONSUME. (While reading the paper of course.)
9:35 pm Lick my lips.*
9:40 pm Clean up the last bits. (From the kitchen, not my face.)
AND SCENE.
Really, not hard. Also, I kind of took my sweet time with this. You could probably do this in much less time if you weren't traipsing about and complaining about the lack of organic whole milk in your grocery store.
So now you want to know what I did with the soup in my fridge. Well, this morning I put it on to simmer in my stove while I got dressed and ate breakfast. I put the rest of the okra in it along with some cayenne pepper and curry powder. When I say some I mean I put way too much so don't trust me on eyeballing spices, I'm not always good at it. I let it simmer for about a half hour. It is currently resting in two tupperware containers - one in the fridge and one in the freezer - for easy consumption!
*You don't have to do these to get tasty results but you're smart and probably figured that out.
Last night I had a free evening with nothing planned so it was time to cook up all the food in the fridge. If you hate cooking this might sound like the worst thing ever, but it really wasn't hard and the results were totally worth it. No cooking again for probably a week and tasty food that is easy to find and costs me pennies in comparison to the packaged versions!
I made:
homemade tomato sauce
stuffed peppers
stewed okra
homemade whole wheat bread
spicy chicken and corn chowder
You might notice that a lot of the ingredients overlap. This is what makes this even easier. And what made it even easier-er (that is SO a word) is that I own a stick blender, a slow cooker and a bread maker! Now you're thinking - she spent the evening in the kitchen and she has invested in all these appliances. No way are you, my fair reader, doing this. Well, let me just say, that my fiance, a connoisseur of calories, believes that bread maker changed our lives. In fact, it is the only thing that has him eating bread at all - he hadn't eaten bread for 2 years prior. So you just go and belittle my appliances while I sit over here and eat tasty food (which doesn't contain a lot of crap, you can keep your methylcellulose and high fructose corn syrup, thanks).
First, a side note, I chopped up big red tasty farmer's market tomatoes in the morning and tossed them in the slow cooker with about 4 cups of water, 1/4 cup of olive oil, 1 tablespoon of basil and 2 tablespoons of parsley. If you do this, make sure you remove all the tomato seeds and clear goo around the seeds. Putting them in will make your sauce really bitter. Also, you can make the tomato pieces as big as you want so long as you can blend them later.
So last nights play by play:
5 pm Arrive home.
5:10 pm Consume bowl of watermelon while reading the newspaper.*
5:12 pm Turn off slow cooker. Attack tomatoes with stick blender. You could probably put the entire thing in your regular blender if you wanted but the stick blender gets out some pretty great aggression from the work day!
5:15 pm Discover that 4 cups of water was WAY too much. Put sauce in a wide pan with about 4 inch deep sides. BOIL THE CRAP OUT OF IT. If you ever deal with this excess water problem be sure to cover the pan when you boil it and keep it at high heat until it looks like actual sauce. If you don't cover it you'll have a nice terra cotta colored wall behind your stove!
5:20 pm Eat 4 crackers with almond butter on top while reading the paper.*
5:30 pm Complain to fiance about an apartment maintenance problem. Make him call the building people.*
5:45 pm Place chicken bones from last week's roasted, organic, CAFOs-free chickens into a giant stock pot. Cover with water.
6 pm Cut corn off the cob (doesn't need to be cooked, although it can). Chop okra. Cut peppers in half and get rid of the gross inedibles.
6:20 pm Pour the chicken bones through a strainer and into another pot. Sort through the bits, saving the meat and tossing the bones. Put corn in the pot. Put the pot in the fridge, top on.
7 pm Clean various dishes so the pile of bowls in the drying rack doesn't get taller than me.
7:30 pm Watch Jeopardy.*
8 pm Get my act together and go to Harris Teeter (turn off all your burners) for milk, eggs and paper towels - the essentials. Run into former roommate and her boyfriend looking like crap (Why does this always happen?!).*
8:10 pm Stand awkwardly, for what seems like a lifetime, waiting for someone in the store to find a gallon of organic whole milk. Yes, I drink organic and yes I drink whole. Also, yes, I'll tell you about that decision another time.*
8:30 pm Finally return from HT (What? Its next door to my apartment building and I believe trips there should never take more than 6 minutes.).* Place bread maker on counter. Put the following in it, in this order: 1.25 cups of water, 1.5 tablespoons of olive oil, 1 tablespoon plus 1 teaspoon of brown sugar, 1.5 cups of all purpose flour, 2 cups of whole wheat flour, 1 teaspoon of salt, one packet of dry yeast. Yep, that is it. Please, go find your loaf of bread in your house. I'll wait. I guarantee yours has at LEAST twice as many as ingredients, doesn't stay fresh as long and isn't as tasty.
8:32 pm Walk away from bread maker.
8:33 pm Stir together leftover brown rice and leftover ground beef and pork (yes, also organic and CAFOs-free) with some of my now less watery tomato sauce. Place green pepper halves in pan. Place spoonfuls of beef, rice and sauce mixture in them. Place the rest of the sauce on top. Leave to simmer for about 10 minutes with the top on.
8:40 pm Place some of the okra and some of the leftover sauce (I have no ratios for you on this one, I eyeballed it) in a small pot. Simmer for 15 minutes until the okra is soft but not mushy. Put it in a tupperware container to be mixed later with leftover ground meat and some pasta - is my thinking ahead making you nauseous yet?
9:00 pm Clean random things in the house. Collect fiances shoes strewn about. Shower. Try to find something on television and quickly give up.*
9:20 pm Plate two stuffed peppers. Grate fresh gruyere on top.
9:21 pm CONSUME. (While reading the paper of course.)
9:35 pm Lick my lips.*
9:40 pm Clean up the last bits. (From the kitchen, not my face.)
AND SCENE.
Really, not hard. Also, I kind of took my sweet time with this. You could probably do this in much less time if you weren't traipsing about and complaining about the lack of organic whole milk in your grocery store.
So now you want to know what I did with the soup in my fridge. Well, this morning I put it on to simmer in my stove while I got dressed and ate breakfast. I put the rest of the okra in it along with some cayenne pepper and curry powder. When I say some I mean I put way too much so don't trust me on eyeballing spices, I'm not always good at it. I let it simmer for about a half hour. It is currently resting in two tupperware containers - one in the fridge and one in the freezer - for easy consumption!
*You don't have to do these to get tasty results but you're smart and probably figured that out.
Tuesday, September 8, 2009
Woman! Control Yourself!
Like most girls in high school I had a first row seat in the show that was Eating Disorder-rama. This show has since updated itself. Disordered eating can be defined in a million ways. You don't have to be anorexic or bulemic to have a disorder. Binging without purging is just as much of a disorder. Add a new act to the show folks. A disorder called orthorexia has been identified. One of my new favorite books discusses this at least a bit. An orthorexic is someone who is obssessed with healthy eating.
Now, if you know anything about disorders or even mental health, you know that really, almost all of this has to do with control. Those who struggle with eating disorders, obssessive complusions or even your average anal rentative are really struggling with control in their lives. You may be reading this thinking, gosh, people are so messed up, I am not like that at ALL. Um, this is me bursting your bubble, cause, POP. Yea, you are, we all are. Everyone needs to control something in their lives. Some people fold their shirts a certain way (ahem, I live with this person), some people organize their car a certain way and some people count calories.
I am to be counted in the last group. Now, I'd like to seperate myself from the orthorexics and the control freaks. And often, I think my beahviors are mostly healthy though not obsessiv and not only because the things I had for dinner last night include but are not limited to beer, chicken kabobs, phyllo and cheese pie and chips and salsa (What? It was Labor Day.). I'm willing to admit that at least some of my journaling habits have to do with control. You could argue that because I was overwieght and worked to overcome those poor habits, I have replaced them with these new habits. Psychoanalyze me all you want, no really, I wanted to be a psychologist in high school, I find it fascinating.
To further explain what my journaling looks like, I give you another entry from my journal:
8/26
I typed this out in an excel chart but actually write it in a moleskin journal. A bit of a code key for you: B= breakfast, S= snack, L= lunch, D= dinner, WO = work out, p= protein, fv= fruits and vegetables, wg= whole grain and extras are um, extra things that don't fit into my other columns.
The goal is to try to fit my calories into the protein, fruits and vegetables or whole grain categories. You'll see on this day I worked out and even ended up in the negative. This is not a big deal. Shocking! I know, shocking! Calorie obsessor goes in the negative? Well this has to do with my equation for calories per day, which I'll tell you about another time. But basically, here is today's lesson: I found myself some habits, because human nature means I have habits and so I might as well pick good ones. These habits include counting calories and trying to fit those calories into quality categories. Orthorexic? Eh, who knows. Doing my best? Why, yes!
Now, if you know anything about disorders or even mental health, you know that really, almost all of this has to do with control. Those who struggle with eating disorders, obssessive complusions or even your average anal rentative are really struggling with control in their lives. You may be reading this thinking, gosh, people are so messed up, I am not like that at ALL. Um, this is me bursting your bubble, cause, POP. Yea, you are, we all are. Everyone needs to control something in their lives. Some people fold their shirts a certain way (ahem, I live with this person), some people organize their car a certain way and some people count calories.
I am to be counted in the last group. Now, I'd like to seperate myself from the orthorexics and the control freaks. And often, I think my beahviors are mostly healthy though not obsessiv and not only because the things I had for dinner last night include but are not limited to beer, chicken kabobs, phyllo and cheese pie and chips and salsa (What? It was Labor Day.). I'm willing to admit that at least some of my journaling habits have to do with control. You could argue that because I was overwieght and worked to overcome those poor habits, I have replaced them with these new habits. Psychoanalyze me all you want, no really, I wanted to be a psychologist in high school, I find it fascinating.
To further explain what my journaling looks like, I give you another entry from my journal:
8/26
I typed this out in an excel chart but actually write it in a moleskin journal. A bit of a code key for you: B= breakfast, S= snack, L= lunch, D= dinner, WO = work out, p= protein, fv= fruits and vegetables, wg= whole grain and extras are um, extra things that don't fit into my other columns.
The goal is to try to fit my calories into the protein, fruits and vegetables or whole grain categories. You'll see on this day I worked out and even ended up in the negative. This is not a big deal. Shocking! I know, shocking! Calorie obsessor goes in the negative? Well this has to do with my equation for calories per day, which I'll tell you about another time. But basically, here is today's lesson: I found myself some habits, because human nature means I have habits and so I might as well pick good ones. These habits include counting calories and trying to fit those calories into quality categories. Orthorexic? Eh, who knows. Doing my best? Why, yes!
Monday, September 7, 2009
Journaling, Arggh
So here is the thing with journaling: it requires incredible patience. This weekend we were on the road for a majority of both days. We packed up sandwiches made of homemade bread, veggies and hummus, fruit, nuts and raisins. Packing up all this food was so much cheaper than eating all our meals at gas stations and rest stops.
But the best reason for all this was eating well. While I didn't eat much fried food, I definitely didn't do well with journaling and eating consciously. In fact, I didn't journal a single calorie on Sunday. This doesn't happen too often and I try to never let it happen. But, sometimes, you're in a car for six hours and there are tasty meals served at a wedding!
It is incredibly easy to beat myself up about this. So, months ago, I resolved not to beat myself up about it. In fact, I refuse to feel guilty about past caloric mistakes. Nothing I can do but improve in the future. One of the most useful things I learned in Weight Watchers was from a leader who would remind us that 'if you drop one egg on the floor, its not like you go and toss the whole dozen'. If you eat a cheeseburger on Sunday night, there is no point in eating a dozen cheeseburgers. Okay so that is kind of an exaggeration, but not really. So, while I didn't journal yesterday. Today I resolve to write down everything I eat, only eat when I'm hungry and stop when I'm not longer hungry. Arggh no longer!
But the best reason for all this was eating well. While I didn't eat much fried food, I definitely didn't do well with journaling and eating consciously. In fact, I didn't journal a single calorie on Sunday. This doesn't happen too often and I try to never let it happen. But, sometimes, you're in a car for six hours and there are tasty meals served at a wedding!
It is incredibly easy to beat myself up about this. So, months ago, I resolved not to beat myself up about it. In fact, I refuse to feel guilty about past caloric mistakes. Nothing I can do but improve in the future. One of the most useful things I learned in Weight Watchers was from a leader who would remind us that 'if you drop one egg on the floor, its not like you go and toss the whole dozen'. If you eat a cheeseburger on Sunday night, there is no point in eating a dozen cheeseburgers. Okay so that is kind of an exaggeration, but not really. So, while I didn't journal yesterday. Today I resolve to write down everything I eat, only eat when I'm hungry and stop when I'm not longer hungry. Arggh no longer!
Friday, September 4, 2009
Commitment! Dun-dun-DUN!
An excerpt from my journal, page one:
Dear Christina,
This journal is a testament to my commitment to you. It will include all the food and calories you consume and workouts as well.
The point is to care for yourself, feel good and be positive about your body image.
I promise to write down anything that passes my lips and try my best to make good choices. This does not deny me fun but simply allows me to make the best overall decision for what is best for body and soul!
Love,
Christina
***********
So, if you're still reading and haven't run screaming in the other direction while telling your coworkers about the insane girl who writes letters to herself on the internet allow me to expound on the letter above.
First, lets journey back to that birthday I mentioned just before I fell off the face off the (blog) Earth. I was starting to get tired of being so hungry all the time. The italics don't even do the hunger justice. I had started teaching spinning classes regularly, was trying to lift three times a week and generally tried to burn calories in a healthful way. I will say, my workout habits are probably not 'normal' or 'average'. I know most people go on runs every once in a blue moon or join a gym they occasionally visit. Thats just not my style. Endorphins are my drug of choice, thanks. I can honestly tell you I have never tried pot, nope, never, and clearly don't need it. Endorphins anytime please! Besides, I'm crazy enough without help...wait, where was I goi...right birthday.
Right around my birthday I decided Weight Watchers wasn't working for me anymore. In the recent past my eating has totally changed. I've gone from what my fiance calls 'eating all my Weight Watchers points in cookies' to being one half of a couple that buys everything - even meat and eggs at the farmer's market. I swear to you, in the last two weeks, the only thing I've purchased at Harris Teeter is milk and almond butter. If the farmer's market sold these things, I would purchase them there. So now you're sitting there at your desk thinking, ugh, waking up during the weekend to purchase food at a special location sounds like eating a fuzzy lollipop. Not long ago I was SO WITH YOU.
However! My commitment to myself has given me the ability to understand the value of putting certain things in my mouth and not others. Lets revist those endorphins. Working out makes me feel good! Its like eating your favorite food or watching your favorite crap reality tv show. In other words, its all about me. I work out because I like the way I feel, I eat quality food because I like the way it makes me feel (and not feel). This is not to say I don't eat the occasional cheeto. But the reason I make the effort to go to the gym (besides now working there part time) and go to the farmer's market and eat well isn't because I wish to lord it over those who don't. Its because I am all about me! I love me! And my letter is a testament to that. When I want the whole super size bag of cheetos, all I have to do is reread my letter and I remember that, actually, cheetos, while a few are tasty, aren't going to make me feel good after the first 5 or 10.
It'll take me a while to fully explain how my journaling works, why it works for me, how its still sort of a work in progress but here is the gist - to feel good, to be happy, to be productive the way I want to be - my eating habits are all about ME!
Dear Christina,
This journal is a testament to my commitment to you. It will include all the food and calories you consume and workouts as well.
The point is to care for yourself, feel good and be positive about your body image.
I promise to write down anything that passes my lips and try my best to make good choices. This does not deny me fun but simply allows me to make the best overall decision for what is best for body and soul!
Love,
Christina
***********
So, if you're still reading and haven't run screaming in the other direction while telling your coworkers about the insane girl who writes letters to herself on the internet allow me to expound on the letter above.
First, lets journey back to that birthday I mentioned just before I fell off the face off the (blog) Earth. I was starting to get tired of being so hungry all the time. The italics don't even do the hunger justice. I had started teaching spinning classes regularly, was trying to lift three times a week and generally tried to burn calories in a healthful way. I will say, my workout habits are probably not 'normal' or 'average'. I know most people go on runs every once in a blue moon or join a gym they occasionally visit. Thats just not my style. Endorphins are my drug of choice, thanks. I can honestly tell you I have never tried pot, nope, never, and clearly don't need it. Endorphins anytime please! Besides, I'm crazy enough without help...wait, where was I goi...right birthday.
Right around my birthday I decided Weight Watchers wasn't working for me anymore. In the recent past my eating has totally changed. I've gone from what my fiance calls 'eating all my Weight Watchers points in cookies' to being one half of a couple that buys everything - even meat and eggs at the farmer's market. I swear to you, in the last two weeks, the only thing I've purchased at Harris Teeter is milk and almond butter. If the farmer's market sold these things, I would purchase them there. So now you're sitting there at your desk thinking, ugh, waking up during the weekend to purchase food at a special location sounds like eating a fuzzy lollipop. Not long ago I was SO WITH YOU.
However! My commitment to myself has given me the ability to understand the value of putting certain things in my mouth and not others. Lets revist those endorphins. Working out makes me feel good! Its like eating your favorite food or watching your favorite crap reality tv show. In other words, its all about me. I work out because I like the way I feel, I eat quality food because I like the way it makes me feel (and not feel). This is not to say I don't eat the occasional cheeto. But the reason I make the effort to go to the gym (besides now working there part time) and go to the farmer's market and eat well isn't because I wish to lord it over those who don't. Its because I am all about me! I love me! And my letter is a testament to that. When I want the whole super size bag of cheetos, all I have to do is reread my letter and I remember that, actually, cheetos, while a few are tasty, aren't going to make me feel good after the first 5 or 10.
It'll take me a while to fully explain how my journaling works, why it works for me, how its still sort of a work in progress but here is the gist - to feel good, to be happy, to be productive the way I want to be - my eating habits are all about ME!
Thursday, September 3, 2009
Echooo echo echooo
Um, hello? Internets? Are you there? Oh, hi. Um, so sorry about that eleven month hiatus. I, uh, hope we can make amends? Moving on?
So after eleven months I realized that on occasion I'd be walking down the street, driving, cooking or doing anything relatively normal and find I had something in my brain about health and fitness that I really wanted to put in writing. This is not to say that I want to put something down on paper so others can read it. Its more that I wished to formalize my thinking. So if only the wild blue yonder reads this I'm cool with that.
Lets see, to update: quit Weight Watchers, got engaged, chopped my hair off...there is probably more but those are the highlights. Wait! Come back! You're thinking, oh god, girl got fat again and now we're going to have to hear about how the second journey back to health is so ccchhhhhallennnnging whine whine whine. Well, yea, I might whine. But, no! Did not get back to Chubs McGee!
Despite quitting Weight Watchers and coming up with my own personal 'plan' for health I managed to make all this busy-ness work without eating my face off. Yes, my plan involves loving myself and even writing myself a letter. More to come!
So after eleven months I realized that on occasion I'd be walking down the street, driving, cooking or doing anything relatively normal and find I had something in my brain about health and fitness that I really wanted to put in writing. This is not to say that I want to put something down on paper so others can read it. Its more that I wished to formalize my thinking. So if only the wild blue yonder reads this I'm cool with that.
Lets see, to update: quit Weight Watchers, got engaged, chopped my hair off...there is probably more but those are the highlights. Wait! Come back! You're thinking, oh god, girl got fat again and now we're going to have to hear about how the second journey back to health is so ccchhhhhallennnnging whine whine whine. Well, yea, I might whine. But, no! Did not get back to Chubs McGee!
Despite quitting Weight Watchers and coming up with my own personal 'plan' for health I managed to make all this busy-ness work without eating my face off. Yes, my plan involves loving myself and even writing myself a letter. More to come!
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