You Are Weak

But don't worry. You can't help it.

I'm considering posting video of workouts. Perhaps one in which I learn to actually do push ups. Because, really, I can't. I know you're so shocked.

Also, I'm a cliche. I got married and then got chubbier. My new plan is three cardio workouts and two lifting workouts per week. So far, lifting is killing me. Returning to the squat rack makes me annoyed with myself. This is mostly because I kick myself for ever giving it up. Yea, I failed to mention that I gave up my lifting habits. Color me not shocked that I stopped lifting and got heavier. Lesson learned, thanks.

Sometimes I Think The Wagon Doesn't Want Me.

Oh, hello wagon, nice to see you again.

Not.

This is what I get for bragging about my awesome eating a few weeks ago. I made it about one more week of eating well before it all went down hill. I didn't just fall off the wagon. I lept from the wagon and couldn't even see it in the distance after a few days. Today I am still fighting my way back to the wagon.

I blame these:

Oh wait, I don't have a picture of those cookies because they disappeared so quickly. I adapted them from a Cooking Light recipe. I took out the coconut, used mostly whole wheat flour and tripled the salt. I made these on vacation and ate them with friends. Through our cheeks full of cookie we agreed the extra salt makes them totally addictive. I've learned recently that salt makes baked goods amazingly fantastic.

I could say that I'm a puppy working my way back with my tail between my legs but that would be too many metaphors in one entry. It's also not true. I'm trying to race my way as fast as humanly possible back to that wagon.

I could just blame the weather.

But clearly the fact that my windows were opaque for most of the last week and a half isn't why the wagon is so far away.

So tonight I made salmon.

I'm hoping basil butter braised salmon with a green salad topped with sesame lemon vinaigrette and parmesan will get me back on the wagon.

I know, butter and parmesan don't sound like wagon food but actually this was calorically pretty good. It better be since I need to combat those three cookies I ate today. Not that one of those was at breakfast. No, not at all.

Stupid People Behavior

I've seen a lot of really stupid gym behavior in my time as a gym member and as a gym employee. I only spend 4 hours working and probably only 4 more on my own time at the gym per week but boy am I well aware that people stupid.

One case on Sunday, which fiance told me I was overreacting to, was a girl who was not only working out in really stupid ways but also wearing a horribly offensive t-shirt. Her t-shirt espoused hate for both gay people and women who have their period. Perhaps I didn't need to get as rowdy about this as I did but she was also squatting with the worst form I have ever seen from a woman who looked fit. She also did sit-ups on a stability ball that involved violently throwing her upper body up. I had to resist telling her she wasn't using her abs and instead just hurting her spine.

She is not alone. There are a lot of stupid things you can do at the gym. I particularly like numbers 4 and 6. The explanations for these two are the root of my gym annoyance. Unnatural movements at the gym do nothing for you. Number 1 isn't bad either. I mean, at what point in life do you need to move in that way? Except for taking your lazy legs off the coffee table the answer is never. The abductor and adductor machine look fun but unless you're a working girl, I really doubt this is necessary for your life. Squatting and deadlifting are good because they imitate things you actually do.

I'm going to stop ranting now before steam starts coming out of my ears.

Pain? Awesome? Dunno!

Every Monday and Wednesday I teach a cycle class. This year my birthday was on a Monday and I found someone to sub for me so I could enjoy a nice meal with my groom. This turned into taking a week off from exercise. It wasn't entirely intentional but a break from the gym and/or exercise can certainly be worth it. For the same reason I believe in interval training I think giving your body a chance to chill can make your future work outs better.

Holy crap did I prove this.

Last night I thought I was going to die. I've been teaching cycle for two years and I have never worked so hard. Also, while I feel fine now, I may have allowed myself to be attacked by a few more germs than usual. My immune system and my endurance level clearly plummeted.

Also, the weirdest part of this is that on Tuesday I thought I had gained 2 pounds from all my overeating (not really you'd have to work incredibly hard to gain 2 pounds in a week, as in consume an extra 7000 calories in that week or 12 pieces of cheesecake, okay that sounds easy - one for breakfast and one for lunch!) and then this morning I had lost those 2 and another .5. Um, whoa.

So either resting from exercise is an invitation for feeling like death OR its a great way to suddenly lose a small amount of weight? I can't decide if I think this is a good thing or a bad thing in the long run.

Bring It

Okay, no, take it back. Why is it that everything always happens in groupings? No, its not a crisis that last Thursday evening through Sunday was kind of a caloric mess. I did my best, I'm cool with it. Particularly since I've been all awesome and journal-y since then. Monday through Thursday (at lunch time) is so easy!

Today, Tuesday, I even planned to work out at home after work. But slllllooooooooooowwwwwwwwllllly. Slow, like molasses, my body has suddenly decided to cramp in a million places and I could barely muster the energy to go get my snack from the office fridge. Uterus, I hate you (let me know anytime if I'm sharing too much, really).

This is another way of saying: I had a date with the erg tonight but it might change into a date with my couch. Rarrrr.