Thursday, April 29, 2010

Do You Bite Your Thumb At Me, Sir?

Yes, I do bite my thumb, sir, but I do not bite my thumb at you, sir.

Everyone needs a little Shakespeare in the afternoon.

So, I'm a food snob. I just need to accept this. I have gotten to the point where I wont even eat fruit if I suspect it was grown across the pond. I'd rather go hungry than eat something that will make me feel the bloat of processed sodium based foods. I've started leaving parties hungry. I never used to do that.

The greatest offenders:
5. Yogurt.

Dannon? Yoplait? I don't care what brand you slap on it all that stuff is gross. Even that Stoneyfield Farm stuff is creepy. Real yogurt is gloppy. That is the best adjective I can come up with. I will say it is just short of chunky. It needs honey or something in it to make it palatable. Really great yogurt is not creamy. Cream is creamy, yogurt is not.

4. Ketchup.

My hate for this is nearly shocking to my younger self. I used to eat it A LOT. I put it on eggs, burgers, really anything starchy. Now I prefer my eggs either fried or scrambled with local cheese and sausage inside and generous salt and pepper on top. Burgers are also better with local cheese and not much else. Sometimes not even a bun, I won't start on processed bread.

I sometimes still do eat some ketchup but largely I think the plastic bottled stuff tastes like metal. When you were a kid did you ever lick a bloody wound? That is what ketchup tastes like to me now.

3. Red Delicious Apples.

Not delicious. Local apples are the best thing that every happened to me. Fiance is tired of them. We've been eating them almost exclusively (save for a short pear season this year) since October. I could eat them four times a day forever and ever. Red delicious apples are mealy even when they're fresh. Even the smell of them makes me gag a little. It is sort of this cardboard aroma combined with what I'm sure worm guts smell like.

I could totally eat a local berry right now, don't get me wrong, but I am just fine with the fujis from Toigo.

2. Turkey bacon.

After college I lived on this stuff. I was so sure it was good for me. Then I read about how it is made. I won't even go into it, just google it if you dare.

Real bacon please, thanks.

1. Pizza.

I realize this is not a whole food but a group of other foods. It actually combines some of my snob-feelings of 1-4. Processed cheese, flavorless. processed tomato product, metal. Processed meat, pressed and not actual meat. The concept of chain pizza frightens me and frozen pizza is the biggest waste of money ever. Homemade pizza could not be easier.

There are few things I enjoy being snobby about more than saving money and eating well. Pizza wins.

Wednesday, April 28, 2010

All In A Day's Work

If you think you have a hard job, try being a butcher. If you're hungry and don't want to be, read about a guy who tried it for a while. The local food movement and the new conversation going on in the foodie community in general is all about how you should get closer to you food - how its grown and processed and how to prepare it. It has been suggested that one of the reasons people are getting more obese is because we don't take the time to prepare our food anymore. Basically, we've disconnected ourselves so much that we no longer value the food. Instead, we just shove it in the hole and run along.

Well I read the story about the guy who tried being a butcher. Then, I decided to put a wedding gift to use and grind my own buffalo. It is true that I used a home tool - one that connected to my standing mixer. So it isn't as if I used an industrial grinder that is probably more efficient. However, the smell is really unfortunate. It reminded me of the smell of my A.P. Anatomy class in high school when we dissected cats. Decaying flesh is really gross, in case you didn't know.

I would have taken pictures for you but my hands were really gross from the meat and also, I love you enough to spare you. I plan to eat the buffalo and I'm not giving up meat (although I'm eating significantly less of it lately) but I feel a lot closer to my food today - my sinuses, in fact, can't get the stench out.

Monday, April 26, 2010

Friday, April 16, 2010

Fiber + Sugar = Breakfast

I have no idea why it has taken me three weeks to blog. I have no viable excuse. Wedding planning does take up time but I've probably had time here and there to write. I will say that nothing has made me nutritionally angry recently.

Until last night. When I saw this:

Really? Fiber? Lets discuss the content:

Ingredient number one is sugar. Ingredient seven is hydrogenated oil. There are six coloring agents. The ingredients are obviously awful. But what gets me isn't actually the ingredients, yes they're horrible, but what really upset me was the advertisements for this product. At least they didn't have an actual doctor say that fiber 'makes your tummy happy'.

If you read this blog you might assume I hate cereal. I just think its a crime the way corporations are actively trying to pull the wool over the eyes of Americans when it comes to consumption.