Tuesday, September 29, 2009

This Ain't No Disco

Pause for thought: Who decided the apostrophe in ain't should be in that location? That makes sense in what world?

Moving on. Just a word to those who read my last post. Don't do too much too fast lest you look like me. I'm currently hobbling. Yes, I look like I must be hugely pregnant but minus the belly and glow. On Sunday, that's a whole two days ago, I squatted my body weight plus 10 pounds about 15 times.

At least it doesn't hurt to sit still anymore.

I Take Requests

This weekend I received guilt from my fiance for not blogging enough. So, for the 4 of you who read this, you should know he is looking out for you. Also, I was asked by a friend (who regularly rocks my world) to write about how to get into working out. So, by request, here are my ideas:


Consider EVERYTHING exercise. I've written about this in the past but walking to work, doing house work, playing with your child and anything else that involves bending and lifting or general movement is work. Even if you aren't sweating and wearing spandex at least you're not sitting on your couch eating bonbons. (This is why I try not to watch too much TV. Less TV = more effort doing other things.)

Join a gym you actually like. I have worked at 4 different gyms. They range from your average community center in the suburbs to the dirty gross churn-out-the-members to the fancy shmancy towels-that-smell-good place. Of all four I have enjoyed one, only one, and it lies somewhere in the middle. Its not the kind of place where someone is employed to wipe your brow but they have things like squash courts and Pilates reformers. Some people like a little snobbery in their work out experience. Going somewhere you actually enjoy being is totally worth the money.

Don't join a gym at all. Confused yet? Here's the thing: some people will get their money's worth at a gym they actually like. Some people will try every gym in a five mile radius and hate them all and waste money because the real problem is they hate gyms. This does not limit you from working out. Run outside. Buy a jump rope. Hell, find a jungle gym in your neighborhood. Whatever it takes, do work you like.

Don't get sucked into the hype. If you like this hype thats one thing. But don't go out and buy a Wii just so you can work out with Jillian Michaels. Your Wii will quickly become a bookend on your shelves. If Wii works for you, great, if not, don't beat yourself up.

Invent your own hype. Try a new exercise every other day or walk a different route or buy a new active game. When I create my own home workouts I make sure to write down what I want to do while I'm in the mood. So, when you're sitting at your desk/in your car/in church and you're feeling like you'd like to workout when you get home, write it down right then. Put it in your calendar, write it in your journal, put it on a post-it and put that note somewhere you'll see it. I find that if I write it down when I'm feeling like I want to workout I'm more likely to actually do that when I get home and I'd rather eat the previously mentioned bonbons. I generally write down the things I want to do in my workout but just writing down a to do list that says 'workout' works too.

To end this list, here is what it comes down to for me:

Have a heart-to-heart with yourself. Maybe you've read some of my past blog entries where I talk to myself. Yes, it makes me sound a bit nuts but you can bet your ass it makes me realize what I really want. I don't journal because its super duper fun with cherries on top. I don't spend extra pennies at the farmer's market because I hate all that money in my stupid bank account. Nope, I do it because it helps me know that while I'd love to go out and eat nachos and drink sangria every night after work that kind of thing makes me feel like death on toast. The weirdest part is that when I engaged in that kind of behavior at the ripe age of 22 I didn't realize how crappy I felt. I didn't understand how eating too much meat made me feel weird (I had a roommate who used to say it made her face smell like steak) or how preservatives make me woozy and unable to form thoughts or how eating peanuts and caffeine made my boobs hurt (TMI? Sorry, kind of. I actually think this condition is not discussed enough and am pleased to share it with you.) The point is I didn't just figure this stuff out. I actually thought critically about myself and my life and realized that while I might enjoy sitting on the couch watching 5 hours of MTV after work I'd feel better and be happier if I went to the gym or took a walk or cleaned my apartment. Ask yourself what you want, know what you want out of your day and know that you are the most important thing to yourself. MTV isn't likely to make you happier or feel better or more productive tomorrow.

Feel free to comment with your suggestions and don't forget to tip your server!

Friday, September 25, 2009

Boo! Scared You!

This article scares the hell out of me.

For instance, the scariest sentence:

"There’s more money in amputating the limbs of diabetics than in counseling them on diet and exercise."

Big business is pleased to make more money by cutting of your hands and feet. Its better for their bottom line. For a people who really like to think they're smart and able to outsmart corporations, Americans are being really stupid.
*********************

To share my contribution to the epidemic/poor choices by Americans: last night for dinner I ate nachos, a glass of wine and two glasses of sangria. For the love of God, please remind me never to consume anything with triple sec again.

For the record, I'm feeling fine this morning, just horribly dehydrated. A co-worker even likened me to a raisin this morning. This? This is why I pay attention to my habits. So not worth it. I mean, clearly I should have stuck to wine.

Wednesday, September 23, 2009

Things That Make Me Want to Go Over My Daily Calorie Alotment

Being underutilized at work.

People who seem to be entirely mentally healthy but completely confused by reality. I'm not talking about people who's reality differs from mine - everyone has their world view - but the people who refuse to accept that anyone else's world view is different from their own.

Wanting dessert but not wanting dessert but not needing dessert. Gah.

The lack of time I get in an average day to spend with the most important people in life including but not limited to one very adorable but overworked fiance.

Being underutilized at work while living with someone who is so overworked.

Working really hard so all signs point to yes but still having said signs point to no when I get to the proverbial finish line.

Calories in wine. Not fair.

Health insurance. Pretty much anything about it. Its cost, its inability to be useful...the list goes on.

Sports injuries from high school which were obtained by listening to a really moronic coach and will not quit despite being older and wiser. Older and wiser can make heels heal no?

Television that is so clearly bad for everyone involved.

People who exhibit a ridiculous lack of professionalism.

The cost of an iPhone. Also, the cost of technology in general.

People who judge mothers and generally perpetuate the mommy wars. Seriously? Leave these women alone about their life choices already. (Kathie Lee is what is wrong with the world. If you are following in her crappy foot steps, beware.)

People who totally link to every popular blog. GOD.

Having a hard time finding my writing 'voice'. There was another part to that sentence but I forgot what it was supposed to say.

Somehow being confused about how the 'save now' button works and losing this rant more than once. Oh the irony.

So, people, what burns you up? Gimme some comments!

Tuesday, September 22, 2009

Why My Natural Laziness and (Former) TV Habit Are Bad News

I have a certain friend who is really good at promoting healthy habits in her life. Sometimes when we walk down the street she'll notice someone who is unhealthy looking and say 'How can you let that happen to yourself?'.

Um, hi, that was me until I was about 20. And then again until I was 21 (gained it back and lost it again). And then again until I was 24 (and hopefully never again). I'll tell you exactly how I did it. I love food. I'll also tell you this: it had zero to do with my level of activity.

I've never been able to sit still for a long time (I'm currently doing two other things while I write this, explains all them typps and spulling mistackes). For instance, I have always prefered to walk if my destination wasn't all that far. I can tell you from experience that weight gain and weight loss have almost nothing to do with exercise. Weight loss and weight gain are almost entirely about nutrition choices. Exercise has amazing benefits and is clearly part of a healthy life.

But its so easy to feel overwhelmed both in life and at the gym. People constantly say 'there is no excuse'. Um, I have a list a mile long of things that might excuse me from exercise. These things include but are not limited to: cake, cake and sleep. Oh and cupcakes. Even those freaking olympians are out there making me feel all guilty and lame on a regular basis. I mean good god woman, I can't even swim a mile now and I'm like half your age (okay maybe not half, shut up).

Negative, negative, negative. Argg. I've done it before (gained it back), I hope never to do it again (short of pregnancy), but damn is it hard to be positive and keep it going!

Monday, September 21, 2009

Shiny Things are Distracting and Other Observations

Life changing events and habits always come in groups. I've experienced this kind of thing enough to be sure, at the ripe old age of 26, that in fact, you can NOT change only one thing. For instance, you graduate from college and your lack of class at 8 am is not the only thing that stops. You also suddenly lack freedom and while you were so happy to be rid of that 8 am class you soon discover you have to get up even earlier in order to get to work and not look like you forget this wasn't your 8 am psych lecture.

Bear with me, I'm going somewhere with this.

For me the world has been full of changes in the recent past. I got engaged in March for instance. I'm not just wearing a ring on my left hand but I'm also changing the way I spend money for the greater good of our family-to-be. I'm 26 and I have an allowance again and - get this - I actually like it. The changes started way before March. I actually think the thing that changed my life most was my weight loss in 2006. Not only did I lose 40 pounds but I gained confidence I never had. I was suddenly a whole new person. In December of that year I met my fiance and boy did the changes snowball.

So fast forward a whole bunch and now I'm doing things like not watching tv very often. My parents find this completely baffling. They spent the greater part of my youth doing what my father called 'unplugging me'. He was forever asking if I had done my homework BEFORE I had started up that 12th game of Mario Kart. I hated to read (learning disability) and never really understood what the point of homework was. (Got good grades and went to college and graduate school some how.) So, um, now I read the paper everyday and am a total nerd (my fiance would be happy to tell you all about this and enjoys calling me 'his little nerdlet' regularly).

I'm old, yo. Old enough to be so out of touch that I recently found out there was someone named Miley Cyrus. Then I discovered there is some person named Hannah Montana. Then I found out they are the same person. Apparently there is some show where this Hannah Montana acts like a normal girl at school and then wears a wig on stage when she is a pop super star. Seriously? In my day all a pop star had to do was appear pure, then appear impure on Rolling Stone and then have babies at a young-ish age and occasionally shave their head/smash SUVs with umbrellas. The only part of this whole Miley/Hannah story, told to me by a friend with a sister half her age, that made sense was that Miley Cyrus is Billy Ray's kid. Also, Kanye West recently introduced me to Taylor Swift. I still have no idea what songs any of these people sing except for Billy Ray and Kanye. Really, the only way I connect with pop culture is through these here interwebs while trapped at work. If I had a different job, one without regular computer use, I'd be so lost. I'm hanging onto my NPR and Washington Post though, thanks.

For me, I've grown a lot in the last few years. The best part is that I empowered myself enough to take care of myself and my body (there is some vanity involved, yes). Even better I'm ridiculously productive (you'd be amazed at how clean your apartment can be when you aren't distracted by Real World Season four million bajillion). Although, now that fall TV has started again I appreciate DVR more than ever. What? I didn't say I never watch TV.

So this is all to say: change = crazy! Also, change = awesome!

Friday, September 18, 2009

Math is Hard Y'All

Britney Spears aside, math is HARD. Also, calorie counting is hard. Combine the two and you have giant headaches. Luckily, them there fancy scientists have solved this problem for us. They have all these cool things called calculations and tests to find out if their assumptions (insert joke about ASS here) are right or not.

I've been asked: how do you know you need 1400 calories per day? So here's what the fancy science-people (Hi, Mom!) told me when I researched this:

To start I'm a lady so my basal metabolic need is 655 (the science people told me so). For a dude this would be 66. I weigh 145 pounds (and damn proud of it). I'm 5 feet 5.5 inches tall (I like that last .5 inch) and I am 26 years old (ignoring the 11 months for now). The thing about the fancy science people is they like the metric system so...

Step 1. Divide weight in pounds, for me this is 145, by 2.2 to find my weight in kilograms. This equals 65.9(ish).

Step 2. Multiply height in inches, for me this is 65.5 (5 feet times 12 is 56 plus 5.5), by 2.54 to find height in centimeters. This equals 166.37.

Step3. Figure out your age in years. For me this is 26. This will be the easiest part, I hope.

(I know what you're thinking, you've clearly burned enough brain calories at this point that the whole thing is moot. I promise to make it easier at the end with some handy links.)

SO! Lets make it more complicated. Now you have to multiply each of these steps by a somewhat arbitrary (read: science-y) number.

Step 4. Multiply step 1 by 9.6 for a woman and 13.7 for a man.

Step 5. Multiply step 2 by 1.8 for a woman and 5 for a man.

Step 6. Multiply step 3 by 4.7. for a woman and 6.8 for a man.

THEN! After you've put the heating pad on your brain to rest your fattiest body part because, man this is harder than it seems like it should be (I recently learned your brain is like, solid fat. I bet you Britney didn't know.)

So THEN! Basal rate + step 4 + step 5 - step 6.

Again, for me. 655 (basal rate) + 9.6 times 65.9 (kilos) + 1.8 times 166.37 (centimeters) - 122.2 (age times 4.7) = 1466.91.

I know, the brain, it hurts. Do this when you have time and patience.

So anyway. Why do I eat 1400 calories everyday when it says 1466.91? Well, I don't really. Yea, I know your way confused. But I have logic for this part! 1466.91 is what my body needs everyday to function healthfully and boy do I love to help it do that. But some days I go over 1400. Some days I'm not that hungry and weirdly end up going to bed before I've even hit 1000. Rare, yes, but it happens.

I also have a habit of taking nibbles of food around me and either not writing it down or thinking its too tiny to bother. Those things add up so I build them in by rounding down a bit.

This also means that on the occasional Saturday night where I have more wine than my liver cares for and maybe an extra cookie or five, its no big deal because most days during the week I hit my basal rate and the weekend indulgence isn't going to send me into a crazy downward spiral where I end up throwing the scale from our 6th floor apartment.

That said, this plan works for me. It might not work for you. But the kind science-folks at SparkPeople laid it all out for me here: http://www.sparkpeople.com/resource/calorie_calculation101.asp so I tried it and I'm happy. I know some people who journal all their calories and change their caloric in-take every single day. Personally, I'd go crazy working hard to get to 2000 calories today and working hard to get under 1200 the following day. For you, it might be a fun game.

The moral of this story is: math is hard and you gotta find what works for you!