Why We Don't Have the Number One Health Care System in America

This story begins a few days after we left off in the story of the stumped cholesterol patient.

"Hello. Doctor's office."

"Hi. I came in a few weeks ago and had some blood taken and got conflicting information on the results. One letter I got said my blood work was fine and one said my cholesterol was off."

"That's weird. The doctor will call you."

"Thanks."

Later that day.

"Hello?"

"Hi. This is Doctor _______. I got a message that you don't understand your test results."

"Um. It isn't that I don't understand them. I got one letter from you saying they were fine and another letter saying my cholesterol was off."

This back and forth continues while she gets more and more angry and intimates that I am clearly stupid and was raised by apes.

"Well I guess I will just have to go look at your chart."

Stunned silence while I think about the fact that she hadn't actually been using facts throughout this conversation.

"Okay, your results say your urine is fine." Didn't give you any of that but whatever. "Your Vitamin D is fine, you aren't anemic . . . oh. Um. Hmmm. It looks like this cholesterol test is not part of your results."

"I'm sorry, what do you mean?"

"Uh, I think someone in the lab stapled another patients results to yours. Sorry. No reason to worry. Glad everything checked out."

"Great. Thanks."

LOUDEST CLICK POSSIBLE ON A CELL PHONE WHILE ON A BUS TRYING NOT TO MAKE A SCENE.